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Superman Rap (Ft. EpicLLOYD of ERB)

by The Warp Zone

(Superman!)
Gotta start rapping now, better get used to it!
(Superman!)
I like that beat, what's Supes gonna do with it?
It's a bird! It's a plane! JK, it's just me
Supe Dogg in the house, DC's OG
I be rappin' on this beat like my enemies and bad dupes
Rhymes so tight like my fanny in my blue suit
Call me anytime
I ain't hard to get
No signal in the sky
Just call collect
I'll be there faster than a bullet for whatever you need
Help your granny cross a street
Save a kitten in a tree
I spit the hottest verses with the coldest of breath
I use my x-ray vision to see all of the breasts
Of chicken!
Cooked by women in a kitchen
At a 3-star Michelin
That's a way to make a livin'
Feminism!
Mother huggers I'm woke
Lois Lane's the only broad that I poke
On Facebook!
Then she invites me to her place to Netflix and chill
I'll probably get to first base!


(Superman!)
Steppin' outta solitude
Head to toe in solid blue
(Superman!)
Neither man nor steel, it's a metaphor, you nincompoops
(Superman!)
Yeah the "S" on my chest symbolizes success, come on!
(Superman!)
For more Kal-El just say "Heck yes!"
Comin' straight outta Smallville with Southern hospitality
Winning dinner parties with a charming personality
Servin' up lemons
Square like my jawline
Washboard abs, but it's not my fault I'm
Naturally ripped!
I still try to keep it tight
With a healthy diet
Shun gluten like it's kryptonite
And exercise, doing laps around this world
At speeds you won't believe
Yet no stress to my spit-curl


And all my nemeses had best watch out
I got a Darkseid now
You could get knocked out
And if you're out there doing crime
Oh, you'll get wrecked sir
I'll make sure it shows up on your permanent record!
[LEX LUTHOR]
Clark!
You're as soft as that cat up your tree
You're no match for a criminal mind like me
So don't flex on Lex, or I'll give you the whammy
Your booties, your bedsheet, and spandex jammies
That boy scout loyalty really fell through
You were America's sweet-heart
Until it couldn't sell you!
That's Capitalism!
And it will always live on
While all your fans are dead
Like your peeps on Krypton!
[SUPERMAN, (BATMAN)]
I got fans!
Call them my Super Friends!
When we hang out, there are always shenanigans
Aquaman's cool
He and I exchange "fist bumps"
Wonder Woman sees me every weekend
At brunch!


Of course, Batman! I love that guy!
He's dark and mysterious and super-fly
He's the world's best detective, plus he's really fit
And all the ladies love him for his big fat--
Oh, you know what, I really don't want to swear
Batman, are you sure I'm doing this right?
(What? No, come on! It's great, the kids are going to love it!)
You think so? Because Lex Luthor guesting on my own song seems counterintuitive
And now I'm talking about you and your... um
(Look, you wanted my help, right?)
Well, yeah, sure, but--
(Well then shut up! Look, trust me, it's going to be great! *cough*dumbass
All right, one more chorus and rap)
Okay
[BATMAN]
(Superman!)
He's the best-friend of Batman, but not as cool as Batman
(Batman, get out of here! Come on!)
(Superman!)
Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'll stop, I'm just having too much fun
[SUPERMAN, (BATMAN)]
(Superman!)
Morality and chivalry, I got it on lock!
(Superman!)
And I f*** all the bitches with my alien c***!
*GASP*
(Haha, oh my God! I can't believe you actually said it! Haha!
Oh, man, that's staying in)
No, no, Batman, can we redo that, please?
(No-no-no-no, we're keeping that)
No, I didn't write that. I can't have that in my song--
(All right, I think that's a wrap!)
No, it's not! No, get back, don't leave!
(Who wants tacos?)
No, I don't want tacos. We just ate. Get back here!
Where are you going. Batman, come back! Batman!
Aw, shucks!